Welcome to Your Life

“Tell me what it is you plan to do with your one wild and precious life.”   ~ Mary Oliver

In all the roles that we women play - Mom, worker, spouse, friend and various others -- there is a common denominator in all of them.  Each requires that we are encouragers.  Caretakers.  Cheerleaders.  Big, grown up, cheerleaders.  Thank goodness we don’t have to wear the outfits!

Wouldn’t you agree?  Do we encourage our children to step out and try new things?  We’re out there on the ball fields most every weekend, aren’t we?  In some ways we may even live our lives through our children.  We encourage our spouse in his respective career choices and the emotions that sometimes come along with them.  How about your friends and family?  Or co-workers?  Do you cheer them on?  Do you believe they might describe you as a caretaker?  I bet they would!

I’d like to give you permission to step outside the roles for a minute.  As women, why do we tend to wire everyone else’s and then short-circuit our own souls?  What does your heart long for?  What do you want?   And if someone could encourage YOU on one thing, what would that be?  

Would you go back to school?  Write a book?  Begin to travel?  Start a non-profit organization?  Begin a ministry?  Learn something new by taking a course that excites you?  What would it be?  What would light you up?  Dream BIG!  

I am inviting you to spend some time being ‘soulish’.  By that, I mean making you a priority.  Catapult your own self to the top of the ‘to-do list’!  I am not talking about abandoning your responsibilities or suddenly becoming the wicked witch of Fayette County.  I am talking about stepping beyond the role of cheerleader for everyone else and becoming an advocate for your well-being.  You can do that - it’s perfectly legal!

You probably know the drill before a plane is taking off.  “Ladies and Gentlemen, please put on your own oxygen mask before assisting others.”  This is to ensure that you are healthy and strong so that if it is needed you are able to help people who may not be as self-sufficient.  It’s the same with our emotional tanks.  We must be sure to fill our own up so that we are able to continue being the cheerleader and caretaker for others.  When our own tank is not being filled up, we are of little use to our loved ones.

For many women, this is a scary thought and is easier said than done.  I urge you to put the fear aside and commit to your own self-care.  I encourage you to listen to that small inner voice and then take action on the feedback it gives you.  Open the doors to your life and go inside.  Get to know yourself and trust that your findings will be wonderful.  Believe that self-nurturing is for your highest good.  Watch YOUR life unfold, along with, and not instead of, everyone else’s.

This is a radical concept for some of us, huh?    Maybe it’s been so long since we thought of ourselves, we can’t even think of what would light us up.  When this happens I ask my client to get very quiet and think back to the time when she was 8-10 years old.  What did she love to play?  How did she do it?  Was it in a group or alone?  Did she lead or follow?  How did she accomplish what she wanted to?  What kind of person was she and what did her friends say about her?  What was she doing when she looked up at the clock and marveled at the way time had flown?

Next I ask her to spend time journaling on all her feelings and insights from these thoughts.  Just write.  Silence the negative talk and begin to affirm the strengths that surface.  Journaling can be intimidating for some people but I just challenge you to begin.  It is so very therapeutic.  If you can only write for five minutes, then that’s OK.  Come back to it later and add another five minutes.  See what comes to the surface and acknowledge the power it has in your life.

The way I see it, we all have wonderful gifts and talents.  When we were young these were the things that brought meaning and purpose to who we were.  Dreaming was for real and anything was possible.  Isn’t it still true today though?  We are splendid souls!  We women are magnificent beings capable of so much love.  Why not start with ourselves and watch it ripple outwards?

I ask you again now, “What do you plan to do with your one wild and precious life?”

Beth Pugh is a professional life coach who partners with people inspiring them to love themselves and love their life.   She can be reached at 678-938-0419 or visited on the web at www.BrightSideCoaching.com.  She offers a free biweekly newsletter and a daily inspirational message available via email.