One of the most impulsive and best decisions my family ever made was
choosing to bring an exchange student into our home for the 1998-99 school year.  It wasn't something we were planning on until a small advertisement appeared in our paper by the program ASSE, just a few weeks before the start of the school year.  They were desperate to find host families, as the number of children looking for placement far exceeded the number of families willing to host.  I investigated and agreed to look at a stack of student applications.

Immediately, I wanted to invite a dozen of them into our home.  They wrote touching, poignant and funny essays about who they were and why they wanted to travel to the United States.  They shared a brief glimpse into their world, thousands of miles away, and begged for the opportunity to live here for a year. I learned that a significant number of these students would never be placed, their dreams of coming to America dashed.  The rise of dual career families has dramatically decreased the number of host families available, as families worry about how to manage the demands of another teenager in the household.

My husband Stephen and I decided to convert our guest room for a more
permanent guest and to enter into the experience.  We thought that it would be a delightful education for the children and  helpful for us to have
another adult in the home. Since our young babies prevent us from
travelling these days, at least we could learn about another culture
without leaving home.  We also hoped to gain greater gratitude for all that
we take for granted as citizens of the United States, with access to
material wealth and comforts beyond anything a foreigner could imagine.

Ademar Ferreira, an eighteen-year-old boy from Brazil, has been living with us for the year. We are preparing now to say our goodbyes as he heads back home to Brazil soon.  He has become a member of the family, loved by all of us, and we will miss him terribly.  Since this is a business advice column, I can't just tell you about why hosting an exchange student is a fabulous experience.  So, allow me to share with you three lessons about business that Ademar exemplifies:

*Short-term caring is better than detachment:   From the time Ademar
arrived, we knew that he would be returning to Brazil.  It's hard to love
someone when you know that he or she will be leaving.  But we opened our hearts anyway, and in a short time, he was a member of the family.  The children adore him and his departure will be very hard on them.  But would it have been better to keep our hearts closed?  In your business, your employees may only be with you for a short time and customers come and go.  It's easy to get detached and not allow yourself to get personally involved with the people you work with and for.  It becomes too painful when for whatever reason, they choose to move on.  I suggest that this is a price worth paying, because business owners who personally invest in their business, and care about their employees and customers will not only be more successful, they will enjoy themselves more, too.

*Follow your gut: When we were perusing the applications, we had criteria in mind for the student we would pick.  We thought we wanted a Jewish female.  Instead, we choose a Catholic boy.  Why?  Because his application tugged at my heart when I learned that he had tragically lost his mother to a car accident just a year before.  I wanted to give this boy some mothering and a meaningful experience away from home.  The decision was made from my gut, not from logic.  What's a Catholic boy going to do in a Jewish home full of babies?  It turned out to be the perfect decision for him and for us; I bet his mother orchestrated it by whispering in my ear, "Choose my son." In your business, there will come a time when you'll have this feeling in your gut that you should make a decision that differs from the business plan, something that seems illogical.  It might not always work out, but sometimes your intuition is a fine master.

*Immerse yourself in what you don't know:  When Ademar arrived, he spoke and understood little English.  It was extremely painful for him to even speak a sentence or two.  Somehow, he not only survived as a senior at McCaskey high school, but he thrived with all "A's and B's on his report card, and he has become fluent in English.  During his first three months here, he was completely overwhelmed.  He had the courage, determination and resolve to dive in and stay here until he started mastering new skills.  Many business owners feel as if they are in a foreign country for awhile, learning the ropes for an endeavor far different than anything they have known.  It takes time to become fluent in the language of your business, give it the time it needs or you'll quit prematurely.

I highly recommend the foreign exchange hosting experience, for any family who has ever thought about it, or is learning about it for the first time in this column.  Contact me at 717-872-1890 or email az@azriela.com - we just selected our student for next year, and I have stacks of applications we have to turn down.  It's an experience that will add great joy and meaning to your life, and the life of a student somewhere in the world who dreams of coming to the United States of America.