It seems like only yesterday I was celebrating the millennium new year with friends and family.  That was January 1, 2000.  Photographs, champagne, toasts to prosperity, dancing, hugging and lingering hope filled the air as we all closed one chapter and quickly started new lines for a new chapter in our lives.  As I reflect simply on the group of people in our New Year celebration, I know nothing significant changed for any of them. Each person took their respective "resolutions," into the new year. 

I'd like to say that with the passing of each year, a momentous opportunity or chain of events occurred and propelled my career and accomplishments into a higher level of progress.  However, that is not the case at all.  It seems life simply continued on a daily basis, and my expectations had nothing to do with the actual turn of events.  In other words, my life simply ran a course.  So, why is it that people decide to turn a new leaf over and make all kinds of New Year's resolutions?  Does it allow them an opportunity to forgive any limitations or human err and allow for a clean slate?  Is the ending of one chapter necessary for a person to find strength in character to present change from within? 

So how does one attain personal strength and present change from within?

First, never have expectations and never depend on someone else for your success.  Set small goals at regular intervals.  Goals seem to be stepping stones to success.  If you are able to focus on your specific goal, develop an action plan just for that particular goal, and stay focused, the odds are greatly in your favor the goal will be met.  Once that very small goal is accomplished, you have secured a personal accomplishment and you did not have to depend on someone else to validate your success.  This allows for you to claim victory and personal empowerment.  No other person is forced to feel guilt if you do not accomplish your goal.  Several years ago, a friend found out that I was developing the women in business website.  She said, "Deb, this is fantastic.  I want to grab on to your shirttail and learn how to do this too."  What she was really saying to me was, "Deb, I've never had an original idea of my own but if you help me, I can do this so much better than you."  When she became involved in working the day to day development, she found it to be much slower than she "anticipated."  Her expectations let her fail.  She depended on someone else to fill that empty hole of accomplishment for her.  Again, the act of one single individual, according to her, prevented her from success, or "self renewal."

Second, as you focus on your goals, be sure what you are attempting to accomplish, is something which can be accomplished.  Many internet companies have had the luxury of major investor funds to be used in development.  Immediately, the potential investor looks to be a "god-send" to the entrepreneur.   However, even the entrepreneur can't guarantee the development will be a success.  The entrepreneur is the person with passion and vision, but is not always the person who can actually manage the development.  I have seen so many women owned businesses fail because the visionary refuses to release control of the business aspect of its development. 

Third, analyze the conditions necessary to include other people in your goal planning.  Yes, since you are developing a plan to accomplish your goals, you must also identify the conditions to which you depend on others to assist in reaching those goals.  For example, if you decide to begin a diet, be sure your decision to diet is made "by and for" you.   Seek the advice of your medical professional on choosing the best nutritional diet for you...not the diet that would work for Oprah, but a plan designed for you alone.  Keep the focus of your individual needs at all times.  Next, evaluate the meal planning and fit your eating pattern according to your daily schedule.  Choose foods within the diet which fit your financial budget and buy only those foods you need for a week at a time.  Write down 7 day menus and at the end of each week, rejoice in that week's success.  Here you have given yourself "personal" power.   Do not depend on someone else to prepare your meals, unless the other person is truly committed to providing the services to you, on your conditions.

This same "condition's analysis" is required for building a business, choosing a stock to invest in, or making major purchases in your life.  At all times you should search for conditions which assist you in accomplishing your goals.  Never depend on "expectations," to propel you into success, either in a professional or personal level.

Finally, if you wish someone to invest in you, or invest in a business development, make sure you are aware of the risks involved.  Investment at the least is risky, and requires a person to gamble on the strengths of another's passion.  As the investor begins to demand quick return on his/her investment, the entrepreneur begins to lose heart and feels guilt for not living up to the "investor's expectations."  Many dot.com businesses came out spending millions of dollars without any appreciation for planning on generating revenue. It seemed to many to be "manna from heaven for a quick buck."  This mindset caused the image of online businesses to suffer in reputation.  However, as in any "get rich quick scheme," those companies have fallen or will now struggle a slow death.  Those businesses which planned for slow and steady growth will build the professional image of successful ecommerce and a balance will occur.  The big website developments will be forced to adhere to professional business practices, or be lost in the maze of failures.

If "expectations" are used as the basis of success, everyone will lose.   Again, as you develop your goals, keep in mind the importance of setting goals that you can accomplish with or without the assistance of others.  Take tiny steps in order to establish a concrete foundation. 

If you are an employee of someone who depends on you to perform a specific duty in the organization, do not commit to such task until you have a firm understanding of what your employer's "condition's analysis" is for your part of his/her goals.  Explain to your employer that you work within the confines of business and personal goal setting.  Never compromise your own goals for the "expectations" of others.  Hold fast to who you are and what your own goals are.  Never work for a company who demands you give yourself up to work for them.  You are the commander of your own life and no one "owns you."  Life allows for compromise, with compassion and understanding.  There is no reason to add New Year's resolutions to the list of unknowns that occur in the natural course of Life...especially when you only have one life to live.

To your success,

Deb Nyberg

Comments on this article:  write networking@fodreams.com

Click here to read some of the comments